Slicing An Apple Like An Arm

Put down the sifter Granny, and put your bloomers back on. Emerging from the shadows like a recluse, it is time again for POINTLESS PONDERING. Reborn like a drunk and horny Santa in a strip mall wanting you to sit on his lap.











I may be considered a pessimist by Yankee fans, but has Hank gotten desperate? I told you how the team is having great difficulties selling seats in the new stadium, and we all see how the present state of the economy is. Hank may be gambling away the Yankees right now. Not necessarily a death knoll, mind you, but this could be painful to watch. Even for a Yankee hater like myself. C.C. Sabathia is going to make an insane amount of money for a inane amount of time. Pitchers should never be given long term contracts, given the nature of their position and it's health risks. Then you see A.J. Burnett getting big bucks as well, despite his arm injury history. In a dream word, A.J. and C.C. pitch to their abilities and help keep the Yankees in the hunt. The other side is...well..Carl Pavano. This is much more money to lose if C.C. busts, and the Steinbrenner's might have to foreclose a few of their homes if this happens. Personally, I think C.C. needs to stay in the N.L. with his bat. He has a much better chance at Cooperstown that way, but it would be impossible to decline that kind of cash. It'll all play out, and I wish the Yankees the best as long as the O's beat them.









Can we ever get off the Quarterback Band Wagon? It has gone beyond revolting. Hearing people push Peyton Manning and Kerry Collins for NFL MVP this year is hilarious. Do they even watch the game, or are their eyes fixation of every gyration made by the QB? It reminds me of the pervert in the raincoat watching the stripper with obsession. Collins was important, as far as stabilizing the position. Still, he isn't even close to being the Titans MVP. There are about 9 guys in front of him, at the least, for that nod. No one fears the Tennessee aerial attack, and game plans against their run. The blocking has been so good, it hasn't mattered. Then there is the defense, led by Albert Haynesworth. Manning took weeks to get his legs, after a preseason surgery. Granted, he has had no running game to help him much, but the Colts defense is the most important reason to why the Colts rebounded and has the team on the cusp of returning to the playoffs. This has been done despite the usual numerous injuries to Bob Sanders as well. Then some, like Skip Bayless, try to say Brett Favre is the MVP. PLEASE! Farve does lead the NFL in throwing interceptions, which is his usual annual honor.He also has coughed up 10 fumbles, which makes 157 in 17 seasons (don't count the 2 "games" he played as a rookie in Atlanta) and 303 career interceptions. PUKE! That averages out to over 27! turnovers a season. MVP of the opposition perhaps. Some are saying Eli Manning deserves the award. Huh? With or without Plaxico, Eli has been good. Without that running attack, blocking, or defense, he would be the same guy people were saying was horrible just a few years ago. Priorities need to be seen clearer. The only 2 QB's I see as reasonable MVP candidates are Drew Brees and Kurt Warner. Without them, their teams are truly nowhere. Who knows their future, this year, with them. My pick, if it has to be a QB (it usually is), would be Warner. The NFL will probably treat him much like the NCAA is treating Graham Harrell = disrespectfully.









Does Jim Zorn have Norv Turner written all over him? Probably not, because Turner is a horrible head coach. If you saw Warren Sapp's face on that NFL Showtime gig, you'd see proof. Turner's coaching ability was the question, and now Zorn is finally taking his pill. I had long been skeptical of his hiring, calling it a stop gap until The Dan tries to buy Bill Cowher in 2009. This theory seems more evident now, given the Redskins limitations. Zorn was winning with Joe Gibbs players on a Joe Gibbs game plan. The problem was that he ran Clinton Portis into the ground fast, much like Zorn and Chuck Knox did to Curt Warner in Seattle. Some may say his options were limited because Ladell Betts got hurt, but Betts was barely toting the rock anyways. Sitting on the bench, with a big contract, was Rock Cartwright, so Zorn gets the moronic Vinny Cerrato to sign the washed up Shaun Alexander instead. That was just another bad move by Zorn. Now the Dirt Bags are getting hurt again, along with Portis, and the fact that Jason Campbell is on his fifth offensive system in five years is more evident. The West Coast Offense has no chance in the NFC East, and especially with the current players. It's too feminine for the division. It also would take Zorn years to get those men, and he has that anchor Cerrato dragging him down. The only move for The Dan, given his "win now" personality, would be to fire Cerrato (FINALLY!) and gamble on Cowhers ability to call the shots.









Who really gives a crap on who wins the Heisman Trophy anymore? Get rid of the Davey O'Brien Award (for top QB), because this "award" goes to mainly quarterbacks anyways. Many aren't even that great as QB's. This list of Heisman winners who have done nothing in the NFL is long and humorous. Only 2 defensive players have ever won this award, so this sham of the "best college player" award holds even less credibility than the BcS system.











Though the North Carolina Tarheels may be the favorite of many to win the NCAA Mens Basketball Championship this year, I think one of the best stories has to be Stephon Curry of Davidson. Curry is a chip off the ol' block. His dad, Dell, was an amazing shooter as well. They both have one thing in common = they put the team first. Stephon was held scoreless in a 30 point win for Davidson over Loyola of Maryland. Why? Loyola played a triangle and two defense, placing two defenders on curry alone. Curry, who took just 3 shots that game, sat in the corner of the baseline and watched his team win. In this era of the selfish ego maniac grabbing headlines, it was certainly refreshing to see a guy get it. It's about the win, not the pay check. Curry, who eschewed the NBA to improve his overall game, currently is averaging over 30 PPG anyways.







Welp, it's about that time to make like a baby and head out. As they say in Ol' Mexico = A.M.F