Friday, November 25, 2011
Sports Turkey's To Carve Up This Holiday
Like a turkey head barely missing the cut last Thursday, it is time once again for POINTLESS PONDERING. That giblet of babble that leaks out of an ear like diarrhea after the brain flushes it like undercooked poultry.
OK, this may not be a purely sports rant. More a sports entertainment topic, which is the category World Wrestling Entertainment prefers to be in.
Did you cave in last week and buy the latest WWE pay-per-view gig that was titled "Survivors Series"? The big headline was the return of former WWE star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, a 39 year old actor who had spent most of the last seven years in Hollywood.
He returned to pair up with the WWE's top star of these days, John Cena, who has also been attempting to make a name for himself in Hollywood the last several years. The two biggest stars in the WWE the last 13 or so years were supposed to be a tag team that would wrestle together.
What the fans got instead was a wallet lifting exercise that was almost criminal. The entire PPV, with possibly the exception of two matches, was uninspired drudgery. When the big match that involved the two stars finally got underway, most of the crowd in Madison Square Garden was half asleep. One could only imagine the impact it had on those who had the luxury of sitting on their couches at home watching this snoozefest.
The "Rock/ Cena" match was pretty boring and bad, but that has been the direction of professional for quite awhile. Vince McMahon, the owner of the WWE, had long ago phased out staple wrestling moves like the pile driver and replaced it with scantily clothed models who are more interested in the application of make up than a wrestling move.
In the old days, it was territorial wrestling. Each territory of the United States had their own wrestling promotion, so competition to push each other to be at their best was common. McMahon has bought up most of those competitions, so the WWE has become a fat cat that is lazy and uninspired.
There are no ECW's or WCW's anymore, though TNT has sort of attempted to find a niche by basically using a ton of old and familiar faces. Many at the age of qualifying for AARP, but this company seems content with basically emulating the WWE in many ways.
The WWE's biggest event annually is called WrestleMania, which will be held in April of 2012 and is the WWE's version of the Super Bowl. Cena will square off against Johnson in a match for bragging rights on who is the biggest WWE superstar since Hulk Hogan first left the promotion in the summer of 1993.
If the last WWE PPV was any indication, save yourself the $50 or so that it will cost to watch a couple of guys carefully grappling each other so no marks are left on their bodies. Two guys who will not break a sweat so their head shots remain in tact so that they can audition for another movie.
Maybe the WWE needs to call itself entertainment instead of sports entertainment, because professional wrestling certainly isn't what is used to be. It is a shame because men like Lou Thesz, Bruno Samartino and Andre the Giant spilled a ton of body fluids on the mat so the sport could have a future.
Professional wrestling may soon experience a steep decline in popularity, something it has done several times since it originated in the 19th century. McMahon's vision of half naked models prancing around in the ring slapping themselves may need to be replaced with a new angle, real wrestling, which is actually an old angle.
Regurgitating story lines is something professional wrestling is adept at and has done for decades. Wih the popularity of MMA and other extreme sports increasing, getting rid of the soap opera fantasy for the sake of reality would force the big stars of future WrestleMania events to actually earn their adoration.
If you smell what I am cooking and can see me and the direction I am headed.
Everyone has jumped on Joe Paterno and Penn State the past month. This story, of former Nittany Lion player and coach Jerry Sandusky's child molestation charges, has been brewing for quite awhile. It began decades ago and the school paper has been talking about it for well over a year before the mainstream media swooped in like vultures to feed on the remains.
Paterno was at the university for 61 years, holding the position of head coach for 49 seasons. He has the most wins ever by a Division 1A in NCAA history and is a member of the College Football Hall of Fame. His face is alongside Bear Bryant, Alonzo Stagg, Pop Warner, John Gagliardi, Robert Neyland and Eddie Robinson on the Mount Rushmore of college football coaches.
Paterno was forced out of his job a few weeks ago over Sandusky's transgressions, but this may just be the beginning of change within that rarefied standard where coaches like Paterno occupy. Another, Jim Boeheim, may soon follow Paterno to the unemployment line.
Boeheim has been coaching basketball at Syracuse University since 1969. He has been the head coach since 1976, and even played guard for the school in the early sixties. He has piled up 861 wins, the fifth most ever in NCAA Division 1A history, and won a national championship in 2003.
When he was hired in 1976, he named Rick Pitino and Bernie Fine as his assistants. Pitino lasted two seasons before venturing off on his own successful career as a head coach, which also includes a national championship title.
Fine, who met Boeheom as a student-manager on the Orangeman's basketball team in the earlie 1960s, has been there ever since. Now he has found himself in the same hot water Sandusky is in.
Years after the allegations were first murmered, a long running investigation found itself to search Fine's home yesterday. Given ample time to destroy evidence, it would be shocking if the 66 year old Fine left detectives anything to find. What has been shocking is the response of the school and media.
Paterno was fired in a swift move, but Boeheim seems safe with his job. Both head coaches not only share success in sports, but have also been accused of knowing their assistant coaches had a habit of spending a lot of time with underage boys.
Critics had called for Paterno's ouster for years. Not because of Sandusky or anything of that ilk, but because they felt the game has passed him by and his age was a deterrent to success for Penn State. But Paterno just kept winning, which made the critics look stupid. When the Sandusky offenses were revealed, the critics reappeared and pounced on this story with glee.
Boeheim has never faced that type of backlash. He is 17 years younger than Paterno, so he appears to have time to try and match Paterno's two national titles. Since the allegations against Fine happened over 10 years ago, it appears there will be no charges filed in events that purportedly occurred for nearly 20 years.
Syracuse has put Fine on administrative leave, but has not fired him or Boeheim. Boeheim has told many reporters the charges are false and driven by greed for cash.
Yet it is interesting how Penn State went on a firing spree as soon as reports surfaced, while Syracuse has chosen to do nothing for now. Maybe the reason is Sandusky's guilt seems more obvious than Fine's, but the proof hasn't really been shown for either as of yet.
Jumping the gun with assumption is something the public has been known to do when led by the media like cattle to the hamburger hut. It has cost one legacy immortality, but it seems strange how there appears to be a process to pick and choose who is to blame.
Yooooo! Dis is 7thStoneFromTheSun, Thirds cousin. Yo! My procrastinashuns las weak was OK. I went 10-3, so I am now 97-61 overall.
Lets get too it.
Minnesota Vikings @ Atlanta Falcons
OK, AP is hurt and da Falcons knead dis to stay close to da Saints. Easy pick.
Falcons 28 Vikings 17
Cleveland Browns @ Cincinnati Bengals
I don't tink dis yeers battle of Ohio will be close.
Bengals 27 Browns 13
Carolina Panthers @ Indianapolis Colts
Da Colts HAVE to win one. Don't they? Still, I'm rolling with Cam.
Panthers 27 Colts 24
Houston Texans @ Jacksonville Jaguars
IF da Jags had held onto David Garrard, I'd say it'd be close.
Texans 31 Jaguars 13
Buffalo Bills @ New York Jets
Both teems knead dis in order to have playoff hopes, but I tink da Bills are done.
Jets 23 Bills 9
Arizona Cardinals @ Saint Louis Rams
Dis iz a battle for last place in da NFL South.
Cardinals 27 Rams 17
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Tennessee Titans
Too of da most incunsistunt teems in da NFL battle, but I'm taking da Bucs run game hear.
Buccaneers 23 Titans 17
Chicago Bears @ Oakland Raiders
Both teems are starting quarterbacks dey didn't expect two play dis yeer. Both knead to run too win, but da Bears defense can stop da run while da Raiders defense can't.
I tink Matt Forte will run wild while Caleb Hanie doesn't hurt Chicago. I tink Carson Palmer plays well, but havin no runnin game will hurt.
Bears 26 Raiders 24
Washington Redskins @ Seattle Seahawks
Da Skins loosing streek cuntinews.
Seahawks 28 Redskins 21
New England Patriots @ Philadelphia Eagles
Da Igglez gave Mike Vick $100 million, but Vince Young is da better quarterback. Tom Brady keeps da Pats in it, but I tink da Igglez have one las gasp of hangin on two playoff hopes befour reality sets in and ends dere 2011 seasun.
Eagles 34 Patiots 31
Denver Broncos @ San Diego Chargers
If Tim Teblow wins dis, da Bolts better fire Norv Turner in da locker room after da game.
Chargers 34 Broncos 16
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Kansas City Chiefs
Maybe Kyle Orton will get a few snaps in dis blow out.
Steelers 34 Chiefs 10
New York Giants @ New Orleans Saints
Game of the Week
OK, deez teems is similar. Both can pass da ball. Da Saints lead da NFL in yards passing per game while da Giants rank fifth. Both rank 20th in points alloud per contest.
But da Saints rank second in ponts scored per game, while New York is ranked 16th. New Orleans is 13th in yards rushing per game, while da Jints are ranked second to last.
Da Giants knead to win two stay in furst place in da NFC East with da Dallas Cowboys, while a Saints loss could put them into a tie with da Falcons if Atlanta wins dis weak.
New York has made a nice 2011 NFL story, considerung dey wa killed by inurys in da secundairy befour da seasun even began. But I tink Drew Brees will expose dat weekness hear.
Saints 34 Giants 24
1. Green Bay Packers
2. Baltimore Ravens
3. San Francisco 49ers
4. Pittsburgh Steelers
5. New Orleans Saints
6. Chicago Bears
7. Houston Texans
8. New England Patriots
9. New York Giants
10. Atlanta Falcons
11. Dallas Cowboys
12. Oakland Raiders
13. Cincinnati Bengals
14. Detroit Lions
15. New York Jets
16. Philadelphia Eagles
17. Buffalo Bills
18. Tennessee Titans
19. San Diego Chargers
20. Denver Broncos
21. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
22. Seattle Seahawks
23. Arizona Cardinals
24. Kansas City Chiefs
25. Jacksonville Jaguars
26. Miami Dolphins
27. Carolina Panthers
28. Minnesota Vikings
29. Washington Redskins
30. Cleveland Browns
31. Saint Louis Rams
32. Indianapolis Colts
OK, I got two go sit on da porcerlin trone and push out sum of dis Thanksgiving dinner cuz I ate to much. As dey say in Ol' Messico = A.M.F.