Tuesday, August 26, 2008

TIRED of The Triplets Rant

The Dallas Cowboys had a run in the 90's in the NFL. Won 3 Super Bowls during that era. It was not unprecedented, yet what has happened after the retirement of the players has been in the broadcast journalism field. FOX and TSN hired Troy "Thinking gives me concussions" Aikman for his post-concussion analysis. FOX hired the only educated Cowboy - an Orangeman named Moose = NOT a Triplet. ESPN mistakenly hired Mike "I'm holding it for my cousin" Irvin, then fixed that mistake by hiring a bigger disaster in Emmitt "My 100 yard dash time is higher than my IQ" Smith.


Listening to Aikman's punch drunk Baby Huey impression makes one long for Tim McCarvers butchering of the analyst position. Funny how Joe Buck works with both of them. ESPN has plummeted to the bottom of all depths of hiring has-beens. Michael Irvin's hire should be considered the rock bottom, no pun intended on the rock...remember = he's holding it for his cousin and he's still clean. He's no longer the defiant pink fur coat wearing crack head going to court for kidnapping and burning a prostitute with a crack pipe.

Irvin should thank ESPN DAILY for getting him into Canton ahead of Art Monk, though Monk had superior statistics in every area almost....especially wins and CHARACTER.

Irvin's mush mouth impression was hilarious. A game of sorts. Trying to understand what he was saying was akin to trying to understand Martian. Usually he managed not to mangle every 3rd or 4th word so you could stay afloat. Thankfully he was released from his job after an Academy Award winning performance at Canton last summer.

His replacements IQ couldn't get any lower, right WRONG!

Emmitt Smith is the worst sports journalist to ever gargle into a microphone. His pearls of wisdom are too numerous to list, so one example just today regarding Eli Manning (who he picked to lose almost every game this season, including the NFC Championship) and his growth. "Eli's self confidence in himself is evident".

Let us just be glad Eli didn't place his self-confidence in another. At least we didn't have to listen to Emmitt tell us, "How great WE Cowboys are and how WE are going to win every game always". Earth to Emmitt = Your a Cardinal dude! The Cowboys F-I-R-E-D you, rather than let you end your career with any semblance of dignity. Jerry Jones' way of saying 'Thank you for being the NFL All Time Rushing Yards Leader, now get lost'. If Emmitt had an IQ or any pride, he'd wear Cardinal red to Canton in a few years. ESPN N-E-E-D-S to fire this boob A.S.A.P.

Maybe they could hire an actual journalist?

One who could write a book like," I Never Played The Game".

Or at least an ex-jock with an IQ over 40.


tcp said...

Good work 3rd...

But, are there any ex-jocks with an IQ over 40 who would work for ESPN?

I like your new site, I have linked you over on my new blog.

Brad (bwsmith25 from tsn)

Lester's Legends said...

Funny stuff. I'm glad you gave props to Moose. Otherwise this Orangeman would have to take offense.

Steve Young is pretty good, but he gets drowned out.

Mo Morrissey said...

"Where have you gone Howard Cosell, a nation turns it's lonely ears to you..."