Saturday, September 13, 2008

Tony Wants To Have Brett's Baby

I decided to bring one of my infrequent series over here. It's kind of like a TV re-run not many saw the 1st time.

As ridiculous and revolting as the thought of a Britney Spears comeback, it's time for POINTLESS PONDERING. That lipsticked pig waiting on a big sloppy kiss from a penguin.

Did anyone watch the Packers game Monday night? I don't know what was more obscene : ESPN's pre-game show all waving, "Hi" to Brett Favre, after theorizing he was watching, or Tony Kornholes relentless blubbering all game long. ESPN loves Favre, and tell their talking heads to blather incessantly about him as much as possible. It got rather sexual, at one point, and both of the other talking heads had to plead for Tony to give it a rest. I wonder if they got reprimanded for that? I have long told you before what a lousy journalist Kornhole, the WORST broadcaster in MNF history, is here in D.C. He started out in the Style section, which is about dresses, flowers, and other similar subjects. After a mass exodus of the good writers from the Washington Post, they had to fill spots. They let Kornhole do his lame Jack Benny impression once a week, and promoted Chicago homer Michael Wimponandonandon. Brett loves attention. His countless texting to his media buddies, including Kornhole, is proof. Still, I imagine even he was sickened to his stomach over that on-air fellatio fest.

I know The Dan looks at players like trading cards you buy at a store. His lapdog, Vinny Cerrato, is about as clueless himself. There are about 5 holes to be filled on the Redskins defense right now. I imagine it will be worse next year. I see one VERY EASY step towards getting better. Shawn "Lights Out" Merriman is a D.C .born and bred man. He even went to college at Maryland University. It is obvious the San Diego Chargers do not plan on keeping him beyond this season, as his contract expires then. They invested a lot of money into his backup, Jyles Tucker. as well. Dan? GO GET SHAWN! He can easily afford to take a chance on him! I understand the ghost of Levar Arrington still haunts Redskin Park, but this guy is on another level. He may take to 2010 to get it all back, but even now he is better on one leg than what the Redskins have at his position.

Are you as annoyed by these sideline "reporters" as I am? They add NOTHING to the game, nor it's ambiance. They generally ask the dumbest softball questions imaginable. I'm not saying females don't belong on the gridiron. They do! The best football broadcaster ESPN probably has is Pam Ward. Leslie Visser is one of the best sports journalists of our time, male or female. There are many other greats, from Robin Roberts to others. The problem is the networks sacrificing substance for eye candy. Listening to, "How do you feel right now?" after a game is the old standard moronic question. This statement SURELY applies to most of the males handling this job as well. I think that the ex-athlete doesn't always do better, but some do. Tony Siragusa is outstanding at times. His passion for the game shines through the microphone. His observances are usually spot on as well. He had noted the Rams sideline showed no spirit versus the Eagles well before the blow out ensued. My only point is that the networks must get off the "eye candy" trip, and put people down there who love the game more than their image. If that is impossible, then get rid of them and quit wasting our time while stabbing our brains with this mind numbing rot.

What in the heck was CBS thinking this last Sunday? It was opening day for almost every NFL team, and fans everywhere were waiting on this day. What does CBS give their viewers? A sport less popular than poker ratings wise. Other than the Williams sisters, has tennis had any luster since McEnroe, Connors, Nastase, and other characters retired? We have had robots named Sampras and Federer since. I can only assume CBS did this for wives everywhere. What better excuse to tell the hubby to mow the lawn or paint the house? I mean, the options were to either watch the Cowboys dominate the Browns or fall into a coma watching the US Open. Infomercials were more exciting that day.

I hardly yammer much on college football. I dislike the BcS, but finding a formula that truly works seems impossible for so many teams involved. The best players get paid big cash by the bigger programs. Two of them, Ohio State and USC, face off in a few hours. I like watching the smaller schools take these programs down a peg whenever possible. Watching East Carolina has been fun. Considering I am a Maryland Terrapin fan, I have to find my college football fun anywhere I can right now. I often have said the free education, boarding, food, and books were more than generous, but the cash flow is so huge now that kids get paid better than most of population pulling 40 or more hours a week. That, of course, is in addition to the free ride for four years. The NCAA has this garbage committee pretending to enforce rules, but they are dirtier than any school out there.

Baseball is finally winding down the regular season. This has almost been a mundane year, but that is the way MLB wants it after all the steroids rabble. The best part of this season is the Tampa Bay After years of futility, this franchise has their team on the cusp of their first AL East Pennant. I can only imagine that the Red Sox Nation is rooting against that thought, and probably not as hard as they could. I am assuming the Manager of the Year trophy already has Joe Maddon's name engraved on it right now. It would be ludicrous if it weren't. Personally, I would like to see his team go against his former team, the Angels, for the right to go to the World Series. Tampa Bay winning it all would be very good for baseball.

One term, in sports, I think is used too often is "warrior". Kobe Bryant released a statement on his website that he was eschewing surgery on an injured digit. The media followed this with terms like "warrior". PUH LEEZE! He plays a child's game for millions of dollars. I appreciate terms like "grit, determination, and fortitude". Those work. "Warrior" does not apply to sports like basketball, tennis, badminton, bowling, or baseball, and other finesse sports. Football is borderline to the point one is stretching the terminology. Boxing, Martial Arts, Extreme Fighting, and maybe even wrestling (not professional), possibly, can use that word. Trying to over hype images and tell us who we should call our hero's is a bad move. There are many art forms in all sports. Let us smear them with grandeur they don't deserve nor earn.

Below is a video that is disturbingly funny.

Welp, it's about that time to make like a baby and head out. Like they say in ol' Mexico : A.M.F.


Mind of MadMan said...

It still amazing regarding your knowledge of sports.

Anonymous said...


3rd you crack me up ;0

loved the write up , NO we aren't in love with brett , media=issues

news is news babe ;0 when i saw your headline i thought u were talkin bout tony romo (notice i called him ROMO) HA
Homo ;0

hey there's a blog to run with = tony, jessica, carrie, nick, brett, um whomever else ya wanna toss into that orgy LMAO!

Lester's Legends said...

great job. you held no punches. i like that.