Sunday, January 4, 2009

Hey Grandpa? Build Your Coffin Now!

It's that time to go to the tool shed and find the shovel for an installment of :


My winner?



Because the NFL has appeared stuck on stupid long before Tags even handed the keys of this Cadillac to Roger Googell.

It is true that Goodell drives this car worse than a drunken Helen Keller. All you have to do is see all the dents and carnage he has laid waste to in his short time.

Goodell Is Tearing The NFL Apart

Not that the rest of the league has exactly pulled out a map, even though it is doubtful Goodell listens to others. He seems hell bent on a mission of his own.

Here are just a few examples that I think need the Old Yeller treatment:

The Brett Bologna

No need to look at the Hyckocrite's stats. I'll get to that in another post. What I'm talking about is how the guy thought he was Cal Ripken Jr. this year by seperating himself from the team, hiding in his own room, and creating yet another rift in another locker room. Cal may have went the route of travelling apart from his team mates in his last years with the Orioles, but he wasn't kicking 2 to 3 errors each game as well. Cal also didn't have the locker room in turmoil, and there were few quotes about his agenda. Oh, and Cal never pointed to a body part for his failings. Though the media has a bust made for ther best buddy already waiting in Canton, it is time for the NFL to help him on his way by sending him out to pasture. Hearing all the quotes in the Jets camp about what a jerk he is reminds me of the quotes from Green Bay just a few months ago. Then there is the other side to this crusty coin. Teams deal with cancers like T.O. and Ocho Cinco, so they can deal with Brett. If you look at all the lousy quarterbacks on rosters in the NFL this year...maybe a team could use about 20 TD's.....and 27+ turnovers next season.

The Jets Already Saw Brett At His Best. Why Sign Him? Masochism?

The Coach Crapfest

There are rumors that Mangina is headed to Cleveland, and Shanahan is doing a reverse Dan Reeves by heading to Dallas. Huh? OK, maybe Shanahan is an upgrade over Phillips...but he showed in Denver his lack of concern for the trenches this past decade. The Cowboys will not win until they address their trenches, so Shanahan would best be served as an offensive coordinator. Even at his worst, he is a huge upgrade over Jason Garrett. As far as Mangina going to Cleveland? I don't get that at all! Wasn't the experience with Crennel enough? I would like to see them hire a high school coach over Mangini. I see a man still waiting his turn that may be perfect for them. A guy I think the Redskins should have hired the day they finally rid themselves of Norv Turner. A guy who has been excellent wherever he has a player and coach. RUSS GRIMM! It may not be a sexy enough hire for the Brownies, but Russ would get that OL playing up to their abilities again. This is the unit that let down the team last year and caused many of the losses. If the Browns need headlines, then they need to go gangbusters at Bill Cowher. Cowher played and coached for the team, and grew up not far away in Pennsylvania. Plus, his hiring would be in no way a retread hiring. The guy is a winner.

Then Goodell came up with a new idea that is really just another example of his stupidity...thus making it a retread in a new realm.

Pro Bowl Before Super Bowl

What a moronic idea! All this proves is that Goodell is bad as hell for the NFL.

What Is This Douchebag Thinking?

Imagine your favorite player on your favorite team having a spectacular year and leading the way to a Super Bowl appearance. Only two scenarios can be played on in the Pro Bowl that is played ahead of the Super Bowl. Obviously this first one is that the player skips the Pro Bowl entirely, which will be the most prevelant move by any Pro Bowlers on teams that make it to the Super Bowl. The second option is what I call the "Robert Edwards" result. Edwards was a rookie who blew out his knee in a NFL event during the 1998 Pro Bowl week. He almost had to have his leg amputated, and did not return to the NFL again until 2002. No team in the Super Bowl is willing to risk this happening. That REALLY takes away from the Pro Bowls legititemacy, because lesser players will have to fill in and make it more of an ALMOST Pro Bowl instead. Why even bother playing this kind of game at all? The last part is how the NFL is moving the game from Hawaii to Miami. Cheap is the first thought that comes to my head. Miami is a nice city, but it ain't Hawaii. Players loved the trip to Honolulu, and brought family along. You really see this happening in Miami?

Time to take Roger Goodell deep into the woods and put a bullet in his dome.

The NFL needs To Take Goodell

His Insipid Ideas

Their Stale Ideology




David Funk said...

Great post.

I share many of your same thoughts about the Pro Bowl as to why they have it. I've heard some say it's for the fans, but what's the point in having borderline guys playing in the game instead of the ones who SHOULD be there? The Pro Bowl is to recognize the best players for the given year, not send guys that wouldn't normally make it otherwise.

I agree with you about the moving of the Pro Bowl to Miami. It should stay in Hawaii, and it's just another one of those head-scratchers that the league has pulled in the last couple of years.

Nice work as always buddy.

Mind of MadMan said...

Roger Hedswell is never going away for as long as the owners own him he is staying.

Lester's Legends said...

I guess not having an actual Pro Bowl and just naming the teams would be a decent alternative. Nobody watches anyway and the players don't really want to go after they've been to a few.